A local performer’s new show chronicles how he used the arts—and leather—to grapple with a traumatic upbringing.
Michael Pacas will bare his heart and soul in Hell-Bent for Leather, his latest cabaret show. Through showtunes and other surprises, Pacas will share the story of his tumultuous youth, and outline how musicals helped ease his struggle of growing up queer in the Southern Baptist church.
Hell-Bent for Leather will take place on Thursdays, May 14 and 21, at the Palm Springs Cultural Center. During a recent phone interview, Pacas summed up the show’s story.
“If you want to look at it just on the surface, it’s the story of a sexually repressed but very enthusiastic Southern Baptist choir boy who leaves home for the first time and stumbles into a Chicago leather bar—so it’s as chaotic as you can possibly imagine,” Pacas said. “… “Underneath, it’s more about your identity, and what happens to you when the life that you are taught … doesn’t really fit anymore.”
Hell-Bent for Leather deals with combatting shame and reclaiming identity.
“I used my life as a little bit of a blueprint, because I sort of felt it was rather extreme,” Pacas said. “When I start talking about the show with people, there have been so many similar experiences, so it’s something that’s kind of universal.”
Pacas discussed his first exposure to the arts.
“Up until about the time that I was 15, my primary social circle was the middle of the church, and I really didn’t have a lot of friends in elementary school or junior high,” he said. “I decided that I was going to audition for a community theater production of Brigadoon. I got cast, and all of a sudden, I was around people who were like, ‘Oh my gosh; you go to Sunday school every Sunday?’ … It was very eye-opening to me, because all of a sudden, I was really immersed in a group of people who came from totally different backgrounds than I did. That’s how the arts sort of jump-started me, and I’ve been continually doing it until now.”
Pacas discussed how he eventually arrived in the Coachella Valley.
“What I like about the theater community here is everybody is very, very supportive of each other. I’m sure there’s a little bit of competition going on when someone doesn’t get cast, but … there’s a welcoming exchange of information, and everybody’s got each other’s back.”
Michael Pacas
“We have a couple of very good friends,” Pacas said. “My husband and I have been together for 33 years, and we’ve known them longer than we’ve known each other, and they had moved to Palm Springs. This was about 12 years ago, and one of them was having his 60th birthday, and we decided to fly over here from Chicago to celebrate with him. He was going to have a party; it was in mid-August; and the heat was deadly. Downtown was a ghost town. We were racing around trying to find the shadows of light posts, but we did think the area had good possibilities. I, of course, started checking out the local performing arts community, to find out what size it was and how many theaters. We decided to come back in February and look around. It was much nicer here than it was in Chicago in February—and we decided to sell our house in Chicago. We had been looking at various places, but had never considered the Palm Springs area. Our two friends whom we visited started it all; we live in the same neighborhood.”
Pacas soon became involved in the local theater scene, and has performed with Revolution Stage Company, Desert Ensemble Theatre, Desert TheatreWorks, Palm Canyon Theatre and others.
“What I like about the theater community here is everybody is very, very supportive of each other,” he said. “I’m sure there’s a little bit of competition going on when someone doesn’t get cast, but I mentioned to an acquaintance that I was going to be doing some Facebook group postings, and she said, ‘Oh, let me send you a text of the list that I use.’ There’s a welcoming exchange of information, and everybody’s got each other’s back.”
Pacas will revisit some painful memories in Hell-Bent for Leather, but he said “the timing is right” for him to do so.
“The things were kind of horrifying when they happened, but when you look back at them in hindsight, they’re actually kind of funny,” he said.
Pacas said two previous one-man shows have helped him prepare for Hell-Bent for Leather.
“My first one was called Who’s Your Daddy? about the power dynamics of being a son, being a father, and being a father to a daughter,” he said. “I guess I had daddy issues back then, even. That was my first one, and it was a very nice show, but it didn’t take a lot of risks. I had done a second show about what it was like growing up in Louisiana, and it was called Big ’N’ Easy. When I look back, it’s sort of like this show has body parts of those other two shows, because it’s about family; it’s about how children are raised; and it’s also about what it’s like growing up in the South. This is probably their love child, I guess.”
Pacas said he hopes that his mix of musical messages and personal storytelling will invite audiences into his world—and also allow them to connect with the show in their own way.
“(As a performer), a lot of it is a leap of faith in yourself and in your ability to create the vibe where the audience can see themselves through you,” he said. “It’s always a bit of a challenge. I look at it from the audience’s point of view—to not make it about just me being up there, peacocking around, but it’s about, ‘Let me tell you this funny story, and maybe you can relate to it.’ It’s not me sending out energy; I’m really sort of inviting the audience as well. There’s a possibility that connection might not be made—and that’s the joy and horror of live performance.”
Michael Pacas’ Hell-Bent for Leather will take place at 7 p.m., Thursdays, May 14 and 21, at the Palm Springs Cultural Center, at 2300 E. Baristo Road. Tickets start at $37.89. For tickets and more information, visit www.psculturalcenter.org.
