Sean Penn in The Gunman.

I’ll say this for Sean Penn: Even though he has a major smoker’s face, he’s sporting some nice muscularity at this stage in his life.

Seriously: He’s got six-pack abs, and some major shoulder and back muscles, leading down to an impressive, slender waste. While I didn’t exactly get a glimpse of his buttocks, I have to imagine that they are smooth and rock-hard.

When properly oiled, his surfer body is the sort of thing that should make humans of all genders and sexual preferences swoon. I wonder whether his is a body made by steroids, or HGH, or whether it’s simply the toned, shaped and visually delicious results of a man who works hard and cares about himself.

I wonder why he would do all this work on those fabulous muscles and still smoke cigarettes—a habit that destroys him little by little, with every puff, like mold on a fine art painting.

I wonder what he drinks in the morning, whether it’s a protein shake full of nutritious supplements, or just a big glass of raw eggs, Rocky-style.

While I’m at it, let’s not ignore his hair. I think it’s dyed, but not to an extent that makes him look like an old guy trying to look young. I feel his stylist should be commended. He or she has found the right balance in that dye mix. Topping it all off is a nice pencil mustache, with just enough of a soul patch under his lip to make Frank Zappa proud.

All in all, I can see why Charlize Theron is dating Sean Penn. He is, indeed, a catch, even if he tastes and smells like a stank ashtray.

Oh, I almost forgot … THIS MOVIE, WITH HIS HUNKY ASS PLAYING AN ASSASSIN TRYING TO MAKE GOOD ON HIS SINS, IS FREAKING TERRIBLE!

The Gunman is playing at theaters across the valley.

One reply on “Hot Mess: Except for His Face, Sean Penn Looks Amazing in ‘The Gunman’; Too Bad the Film Is Awful”

  1. I am a hetero guy and I am VERY impressed. His body is the VERY careful work of Testosterone injections, and HGH.

    HGH does NOT make you big. It makes you LEANER. It is primarily used because at age 52 your HGH levels are normally extremely low… that is why most men have a lot fat and a pot belly at that age.

    HGH supplementation is actually very good for the aging male.

    He also is using anti-estrogen ancillary drugs. That keeps him from looking bloated from the extra Testosterone. MAYBE some mild diuretics too. Those are not good to take regularly. Although he looked very “dry” for Gunman. He probably used diuretics just for the film.

    Careful diet and a LOT of hard work in the gym. It is a combination of all that. Much more hard work and hard work outs than most people think.

    To get looking like him, everything is carefully planned and monitored. I am sure he does regular blood tests and takes supplements to protect his liver.

    This all can be done safely. But you MUST know what you are doing and taker the correct drugs and supplements in the right combo. I LIKE his lean, ripped, not bulky look. He looks amazing. It is REALLY hard to look like that at ANY age, even with chemical and supplement help. My hat is off to him.

    Too bad his face didnt age well. His body looks as good as an Olympic gymnast

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