Adam Sandler in Blended.

Maybe I’m crazy, but there is still part of me that believes Adam Sandler will wake up one day and proclaim, in his angry voice, “Alright already! Enough with keeping my no-talent friends working. I can just give them money. It’s time to make decent, funny movies again! Stay home, Dennis Dugan! Screw you Frank Coraci! Maybe Paul Thomas Anderson will put me in a movie again! Flibberdy-Doo!”

Blended, Sandler’s latest collaboration with director Coraci—who actually made some of the better Sandler films back in the day with The Waterboy and The Wedding Singer—might be Sandler’s worst movie yet, and that’s saying a lot. He plays a widower who has a terrible first date with a woman (Drew Barrymore) at Hooters. One thing leads to another, and the two wind up on a vacation together in Africa with all of their kids. Yes, you read that right.

This all leads to rhino-humping jokes, ostrich-riding and Terry Crews making an ass of himself with some sort of makeshift musical group that kind of sounds like Ladysmith Black Mambazo.

I had a real bad time with this thing. It caused major, jaw-clenching tension, and I think I may’ve cracked a molar. It’s the sort of racist, sexist movie that you watch in complete disbelief, wondering how such a monstrosity could ever get past the, “Hey, why don’t we send Adam and Drew to Africa … it’ll be so funny!” stage.

Everybody involved should be embarrassed.

Blended is playing at theaters across the valley.