As someone who grew up in New Jersey, I’ve always thought of myself as a direct person. Even when it’s uncomfortable, I’ve managed to speak up when I thought something could be better at work, or in relationships when people were being offensive or mean.
But it wasn’t until I became involved with a union that I realized how little advocacy I’d done on my own behalf.
I was part of the The Desert Sun NewsGuild at its formation. (The union is still fighting for its first contract, by the way.) It helped me channel my negative emotions about work into a productive cause, and it taught me what rights I had as an employee in California. It was cathartic yet difficult. It gave me a sense of belonging—and it was the most empowering experience I’ve had.
During the few years I spent at the daily newspaper, I was facing my own grief and despair related to the pandemic and my brother’s death. While I was fighting for better conditions at work, I was also fighting for my health insurance to cover therapy. It eventually did, but the effort nearly broke me.
At the same time, I was an active journalist telling stories and trying to keep the government accountable, especially when it came to providing accurate and up-to-date information on the COVID-19 virus and the resulting vaccines. I learned through the work of my sources—and my own work—how necessary it is to advocate for yourself.
It can take a lot of time, sometimes money, and a dogged determination that can be exhausting. By advocating for ourselves, we not only have a better chance at getting the care or service or recognition we deserve; we also have a chance at improving the systems around us that can make living so difficult in the first place. Advocating for yourself—and getting better at it over time—may even help build your confidence! I know it helped mine.
Self-advocacy is “the action of representing oneself or one’s views or interests,” according to Oxford Languages via Google. It is a skill that can be used in all of our roles—at work, at school, in the community, or as a customer, consumer or patient. It seems to be an unfortunate reality that, even in the most basic contexts, we are responsible for making sure rules are being followed; contracts are being honored; and people are held accountable. (This is one of the reasons local news is so important: Most people don’t have the time, money or energy to keep others at local, regional and state levels accountable.)
So how can we advocate for ourselves? I have some suggestions:
Know your rights: In nearly all areas of life in the United States, we have rights. Knowing what those rights are is a key first step in both representing yourself and planning your next steps. Whether you’re a homeowner, renter, employee, contractor, spouse, domestic partner, parent or customer, there is probably a legal, acceptable protocol in place for such relationships. Read your contracts, even the fine print! Other places may be able to help, too, including a local library, newsperson, legal-aid group or nonprofit advocacy group. If you need help from any of the above, use Google to find the resource.
You may need to make the same phone call, write the same email, and tell the same story over and over again. In most cases, this has to be done in your free time. If a business messes up, they’re not going to reimburse you for helping them correct their mistake.
Secure the evidence: If there are emails, receipts, invoices, text messages, etc. that can back up your side, keep it all! You never know when you will need it.
Identify the key players: Figure out the best way to contact the necessary party to take action. Is it your manager, your employer’s human-resources department, or the California Labor Commissioner? Once you know, initiate the conversation and/or file your complaint. If you have an in-person meeting, or a phone or video call, follow-up with an email outlining what was discussed.
Repeat: This is often the most frustrating, time-consuming and ridiculous part of advocating for yourself: You may need to make the same phone call, write the same email, and tell the same story over and over again. In most cases, this has to be done in your free time. If a business messes up, they’re not going to reimburse you for helping them correct their mistake. (Maybe they should?) If you believe you’re in the right, just keep going. Schedule that call for every Monday at 10 a.m. Eventually they may give in just to get you to leave them alone. Also: Keep track of who you talk to each time, and mention them during succeeding phone calls, etc.
Escalate: We all have asked for a supervisor now and then, but doing so is not your last option. There are CEOs at the top of many of the places we’re talking about, and often, it’s not difficult to find an email or, at the very least, a social-media handle. CC them on your emails to those you’ve already been “bothering.” It probably won’t get the CEO’s attention, but it might get their assistant’s—and they can get things moving.
Go public: The other way to get things moving: Contacting your local representatives (and a journalist, too, while you’re at it). KQED has a guide on how to contact public officials, which includes conversation tactics and suggestions, and UC Berkeley has suggestions on how to phrase emails and letters.
If the situation could be negatively impacting others, reach out to a mayor, the city council, your congressperson, the governor’s office or the state attorney general’s office. That old saying, “the squeaky wheel gets the grease,” can be annoyingly true.
My mom recently complimented me on how effective my phone calls were when dealing with a recent medical issue of hers. “I wouldn’t have gotten the appointment without you,” she said.
I doubted that. She did get the appointment faster, though, which was important for her treatment. She may have waited forever for the call she was supposed to get—complaining about the medical staff only to me.
At one time in my life, I probably would have done the same thing. Maybe I wouldn’t have wanted to bother anyone. Maybe I trusted the system to work. But the system doesn’t work—not well, anyway. I’m not sure I’d have known how deep many problems go without my experience as a reporter. Now I know that sometimes you have to fight to get the care you need—and thanks to the last few years, I know how to fight.
I always assume the best of the workers, at least to start—it’s been a tough few years for everyone. I try to be polite and friendly to staff answering the phones. Being nice often helps, and so does relating to people. As I told my mom the other day, sometimes people are so focused on their own work or lives that they forget they’re dealing with real people. When I make these calls, I’ve started to see it as my job to remind the burned-out person on the other end of the line of our shared humanity.
Sometimes it works. When it doesn’t, I hang up—and try again tomorrow.
