Sex&Drugs&Rock&Roll (Thursday, July 16, FX), series debut: Singer Johnny Rock (Denis Leary) and guitarist Flash (John Corbett) scored 15 seconds of fame when their critically hailed—and accurately named—rock band The Heathens released a debut album and broke up the on the same day in the early ’90s. Twenty-five years later, Johnny’s broke and forgotten, and Flash is in an even worse place: touring with Lady Gaga. Enter Gigi (Elizabeth Gillies), the—spoiler, but not really—daughter Johnny never knew he had. She’s also a singer, but has no desire to be a pop tart: Gigi wants to be a rocker; she has backing; and she wants The Heathens to reform, write her songs and join her onstage—except for Johnny, who would remain behind the scenes. Will he be able to put aside his raging ego, raging-er addictions and raging-est hair? Ha! Sex&Drugs&Rock&Roll—written entirely by Leary, including the songs—has all the This Is Spinal Tap moments and mini-rants about the state of modern music you’d expect, but it never takes itself too seriously. It’s only rock ’n’ roll, and Leary and Corbett are having a blast. Depending on your level of Leary tolerance, you will too.
Married (Thursday, July 16, FX), season premiere: Maybe the problem with Season 1 was putting a sad-sack married couple (the usually comic-reliable Nat Faxon and Judy Greer) on before the raucous party animals of last summer’s breakout hit You’re the Worst (which moves to FXX in September). This time around, they’re on after the raucous party animals of Sex&Drugs&Rock&Roll. So … improvement?
BoJack Horseman (Friday, July 17, Netflix), season premiere: The debut season of BoJack Horseman dropped with zero hype in August 2014, but the animated series—about a washed-up ’90s sitcom actor who happened to be a horse (voiced by Will Arnett)—became a cult hit instantaneously. Last season, BoJack was struggling to finish his memoir with the help of a ghostwriter (Alison Brie) while being encouraged/antagonized by his deadbeat roommate (Aaron Paul) and his agent (Amy Sedaris). Now, BoJack’s landed his dream film comeback gig (the lead role in a Secretariat biopic), and he’s determined to drop the booze, drugs, terrible dietary habits and questionable sexual conquests … or he’s at least hilariously determined-ish. On the surface, BoJack Horseman is just a viciously funny swipe at mid-level Hollywood fame, but there’s also unexpected darkness and emotion that genuinely makes you feel for the guy, er, horse. The Venture Bros., Archer and now BoJack Horseman: The best serialized cartoons ever.
Welcome to Sweden (Sunday, July 19, NBC), season premiere: Brother-to-Amy Greg Poehler’s Welcome to Sweden was an odd bit of filler in NBC’s summer schedule last year—a Swedish import whose quirky comic rhythms weren’t helped by the American commercial-break format, not to mention those jarring “Swenglish” accents. Still, the funny and sweet story (based on Poehler’s own life) of an American celebrity accountant who packs up and moves with his girlfriend to her native Sweden translated nicely. Season 2 finds Bruce (Poehler) still trying to fit in and move forward with his engagement to Emma (Josephine Bornebusch) while dealing with visiting old clients (like Jack Black, Jason Priestley, Aubrey Plaza and Amy Poehler, all playing ridiculous versions of themselves). Enjoy Welcome to Sweden now—it’ll be the only real comedy on NBC for the rest of 2015. No lie.
Knock Knock Live (Tuesday, July 21, Fox), series debut: You know what TV doesn’t need? More Ryan Seacrest. What is Fox giving us in the usually frosted-tip-assclown-free zone of summer? More Ryan Seacrest! Says here, “Knock Knock Live features Seacrest in a Los Angeles-based studio, while the Knock Knock Live team travels across the country, to any city at any time, surprising unsuspecting people at their front doors with a chance to win big cash prizes, meet their favorite celebrities and turn their wildest dreams into reality.” So Seacrest isn’t even on your doorstep when you release the blood-thirsty hounds … the hypothetical blood-thirsty hounds, that is.
Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! (Wednesday, July 22, Syfy), movie: Ian Ziering and Tara Reid return as the chompstorm hits Washington, D.C., and the guest list explodes with David Hasselhoff, Bo Derek, Michele Bachmann, Anthony Weiner, Jerry Springer, Chris Jericho, Michael Bolton and (literally) a hundred more, not to mention Mark Cuban as the president and Ann Coulter as VP. (Recently deleted: Jared the Subway Guy, because, well …). What’s the story? You know the damned story!