CVIndependent

Fri07212017

Last updateFri, 16 Sep 2016 12pm

Ask a Mexican

19 Jul 2017
Dear Mexican: I’m not a huge soccer fan, but I always get excited about the World Cup. In preparation for the event next year, I wanted your opinion on the team my wife and I should root for if the U.S. were to play Mexico. I’m a fourth-generation Mexican American. Spanish was never spoken at home, but thanks to our amazing public school system, I rarely need a translator when I speak to Spanish-speaking parents. (I’m an administrator at an amazing public school.) My wife grew up speaking Spanish and was raised in a home that was culturally Mexican. We both feel comfortable participating in events that are very Mexican, and events that are very American. Last night, I asked my wife who she should root for if the U.S. played Mexico. She wasn’t sure. I told her I wasn’t sure, either, and that we should ask for your advice.…
12 Jul 2017
Dear Mexican: I was reading an article about lowriders being modern pieces of art, displayed prominently in museums around the world. Having grown up in Española, N.M., I felt a sense of pride coming from the “Lowrider Capital of the World.” My question is: Where did the lowrider phenomenon begin? Española may be the lowrider capital, but I have my doubts it began there. It’s a small town, and was even smaller in the 1950s. Do you have any interest in writing a little history piece? I think it would be an interesting piece, given the lowrider’s place in pop-culture and Mexican origins. Low and Slow in Nuevo México Dear Pocho: Española is a great little town that I visit every year on the way to the Santuario de Chimayó—but lowriders didn’t begin there. It’s only known as the Lowrider Capital of el mundo because NPR’s All Things Considered supposedly…
05 Jul 2017
Dear Mexican: Los Marijuanos played at Seattle Hempfest years ago. Are they the best pro-hemp Mexican band out there? Are there other Mexican hemp-related bands or products out there that I don’t know about? Inquring Hempsters Want to Know! Dear Gabacho: Remember Platoon, and how the troops were broken up between the “tweakers”—those who enjoyed the ganga while singing along to “The Tracks of My Tears” by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles—and the angry drunks who were known as “juicers”? The Mexican is definitely the latter: I’m like the old men in the rancho who drink 180-proof sugarcane alcohol and can’t be bothered with herb, so my knowledge of products is limited to whatever my home newspaper plugs on potplus.com. That said, #respect to those of ustedes who do smoke—Mexican musicians have been on that bit long before “Reefer Man.” “La Cucaracha” has a line about how former President Victoriano…
28 Jun 2017
Dear Mexican: I’ve read that 75 percent of Americans are against giving illegal immigrants citizenship. I’m for full amnesty and citizenship for the current 12 million that are here, but I have two absolute conditions. First, the border is locked up by both the U.S. and Mexico, and illegal entries are reduced by 90 percent, even if that takes the military of both countries. Second, citizenship would require pledging allegiance to America and denouncing Mexican citizenship. My question is: Do you think that the Mexican portion of the 12 million would agree to this? And do you think the Mexican government would agree to help close the border if full amnesty was given to those who are now here? Wally Wall Dear Gabacho: You heard about how Donald Trump wants to build a wall on the U.S.-Mexico border and equip it with solar panels, right? Well, your idea is stupider.…
21 Jun 2017
Dear Mexican: Waze is launching Waze Carpool throughout California. I think it’s gonna be a hit, especially with tight Latino enclaves throughout the state. But … is there a history of raites within the Mex community? Uber Wazer Dear Gabacho: Everything that tech bros and their hipster acolytes think they’re creating, Mexicans did first. Ripping off music and movies? We call it piratería, and we know a guy at the swap meet who has Guardians of the Galaxy 3 on VHS. Airbnb? We’ve been renting out the couch to visitors since the days of the Toltecs. Uber? The aforementioned raiteros—what the gabacho media used to call gypsy cabs. Some app that you can use to find someone to cut your lawn or fix your clogged toilet? Day laborers. Dia de los Muertos everything? BRUH … and all of this caca will continue—because as I’ve written before, when hipsters do something…
14 Jun 2017
Dear Mexican: My fiancé is trying to learn Spanish so he can speak to my grandmother when we get married next month. Lately, he’s been listening to CNN en Español to get an ear for the language. A couple of days ago, he told me that, after several weeks of seeing the channel, he noticed there are ALWAYS chickens clucking in the background of the commercials. He wants to know: “What’s up with the chickens?” and, “Is worshipping chickens a Mexican thing?” Madre Hen Dear Wabette: Does your gabacho not speak English, either? Can’t he ask the Mexican a question on his own? Not only that, but your gabacho is either a liar, or he mistakenly tuned into the Rural Farm Network for his Spanish lessons. I see CNN en Español and have never once heard chicken clucks during a commercial. In fact, the only time I can recall hearing…
07 Jun 2017
Dear Mexican: I’m reading the redneck rhetoric in one of your recent columns, and I feel retarded to continually be surprised by the hate posing as nationalism that so easily flows from mouths of these degenerates. At least we don’t have to worry about that “nice” stereotype like the Canadians. Isn’t it possible that no one wants to make taxpayers out of all the illegals, because this would entitle them to minimum wage? I agree that if you’re going to enjoy the benefits of this country, you should maintain your culture, but also become a legal American citizen—but can we afford to actually pay full price for the labor foundation that we currently enjoy at such a discount? Dr. W Dear Gabacho: Interesting punto! Gabachos don’t want undocumented Mexicans to become American citizens, because they’re Mexicans, and they really feel that once we become the majority, we’ll rip out their…
31 May 2017
Dear Mexican: I find Mexican women to be very prejudiced. Is it their lack of education, or the fact that they don’t assimilate well? Is anyone schooling them on appropriate behavior, and are they being told that racial prejudice has reached a point where it’s barely tolerated in the U.S.A? I’m offended by their racist stares—I call them “racist stares,” because it reminds me of the 1950s, when the white folks were doing it. Also, how many people live in one house, with a multitude of trucks, leaving all the trash out from the businesses they run out of their houses? Do we pay for this in our monthly utility bills, because the trash-debris fee is higher than the water fee? I now live across from such a female who gives out racist stares every chance she gets. She looks like a giant Godzilla—a shemale, with her tiny husband she…
24 May 2017
Dear Mexican: Not too long ago, you answered a question about the anti-Mexican slur “greaser,” and then I read the info you provided for “illegal” and the N-word. I was wondering if you could break down for us “beaner,” “wetback” and “spic,” too. What are their definitions historically? Who “invented” them, and what are their connections to certain regions? Etymologically Curious Dear Gabacho: White supremacy invented these Americanisms, silly! “Wetback” came from the days when Americans thought Mexicans only came to el Norte by swimming across the Rio Grande—and the earliest known reference is in a 1920 New York Times article. “Spic” isn’t really about Mexicans, per se; the Oxford English Dictionary attributes it to Americans and Brits ridiculing how Panamanians working in the construction of the Canal pronounced “speak.” As for “beaner”: The earliest known printed reference is in a July 9, 1965, column in the Detroit Free Press,…
17 May 2017
Dear Mexican: The St. Louis area is less than 3 percent Latino, and less than 4 percent of St. Louisans are immigrants. This is very, very, low, and it actually makes St. Louis look pretty bad. Why does everyone here feel like they have a say in the illegal-immigration discussion? Gaga for Gibson Dear Gabacho: It gets worse than what you wrote. Out of the 25 biggest metropolitan areas in the United States, St. Louis is the only one with a Latino population less than 5 percent—and the latest info from the American Community Survey clocks in the Gateway City at a whopping 2.9 percent. I could fit more Mexicans in the cab of my ’79 Ford Ranger than there are in St. Louis. The easy answer is to presume that the city is muy racist, but it’s also home to the largest Bosnian Serb population in the world outside…

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