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Well, from the experience/opinion expressed, I find it hard to believe you're even a bottom. "Pleasure" is only for the top, pain and suffering for the bottom? Phewey - If you're truly a bottom, you're a bottom because being so is sexually pleasurable.

Secondly, maybe it's the venue you're choosing your tops from? There is a kink called domination, S&M, and more in which pain, submission or other things you claim are "prevailing" are part of the fun. Try meeting someone more into vanilla, or whichever kink you find (or think might) intriguing.

Sexual pleasure comes in a variety of methods. Me, I don't get any pleasure in ejaculation itself. My pleasure is in the interaction of our bodies, the experience of sharing the exploration - be it a 5 min quickie or a normal 6-7 hours. It's all about the sharing.

You need to figure out what you expect during sex and then find someone with similar goals. BUT, always leave a little room in the equation for trying something outside the box - you might find something else you like.