CVIndependent

Mon02182019

Last updateTue, 18 Sep 2018 1pm

Savage Love

13 Feb 2019
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I am a 56-year-old heterosexual man, and I have lived with ALS for the past six years. I am either in a wheelchair or in a hospital bed, and I have very little motor ability in my limbs. Like most or all male ALS patients, I still have full sensory ability, including a fully functioning penis. Are there safe websites or groups I can connect with that deal with helping paralytics like me find people who are interested in hooking up? I’m talking about people who have a fetish for paralytics. I know that some people have a thing for amputees; I imagine there’s a fetish for any number of diseases or afflictions. When I was healthy, I was into light bondage. That seems like a redundancy now, but I can still get into dress-up and role-play. I would be cool if someone was into the whole bathing, grooming, dressing…
06 Feb 2019
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Can I still be considered sex-positive if I personally do not have sex? I’ve never had sex or masturbated—all my life, any type of sexual stimulation has been very painful, and I’ve been unable to experience orgasm. I simply get a migraine and feel mildly nauseated instead. I am not looking for a possible solution, as I long ago accepted my fate and consequently avoid sex, such as by maintaining only sexless relationships. My question is simply: Can I still be considered sex-positive if I do not enjoy or engage in sexual activity? Personally Loathes Unpleasant Sex I consider myself cunnilingus-positive, PLUS, despite the fact that I could not personally enjoy (and therefore have never engaged in) that particular sexual activity. While I don’t think it would cause me physical pain, I would not be able to experience orgasm myself (through simultaneous self-stimulation) while performing cunnilingus, and my cunnilingus partner…
30 Jan 2019
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I’m a 21-year-old woman, and I have an IUD. I’ve had sex with quite a few men, and one thing seems to be almost constant among them: trying to fuck without condoms. Many of the men I’ve been with seem to be perfectly fine and terribly eager to have sex without condoms. This has always angered me. They generally assume or make sure I’m on birth control, which they immediately take to mean condom-free sex is welcome. I don’t want to have sex without condoms without being in a committed relationship. I know people cheat, and monogamy doesn’t mean STIs won’t happen, but it’s a risk I’m comfortable with. I’m so annoyed by how often men try to get out of using condoms (it’s often persistent, even with people I’ve been seeing a while) that I want to start lying and saying I’m not on birth control. The risk of…
23 Jan 2019
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I’m an early-30s hetero woman in a monogamous relationship with my mid-30s hetero guy. We’ve been together 10 years, married seven, no kids. We have a lot of fun—traveling, shared hobbies, mutual friends, etc. We have sex fairly regularly, and it’s not bad. However, his primary sexual fetish and main turn-on is furry porn—namely, cartoon images. He doesn’t self-identify as a furry; he doesn’t have a fursuit or fursona. To his credit, he was up front about this with me once we started getting serious. However, I think at that younger age, I conflated the emotional openness and acceptance of his sexuality with actually being satisfied with the sexual component of our relationship. He seems only marginally attracted to me, and it bums me out that his more-intense sexual drives are funneled into furry porn. I feel somewhat helpless, as his fetish doesn’t allow me to meet him halfway. Real-life…
16 Jan 2019
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I’m a middle-aged man dating a younger guy. He wanted to be a “boy” to a Dom top daddy, and I was happy to oblige. The sex is amazing, and we click as people, too. Then a couple of days ago, he told me he wanted to explore small penis humiliation (SPH). I was taken aback—not by the request, but because his penis is NOT small! It’s not huge, but it’s at least average—and it’s thick! I’m not super-hung, so it’s not that he seems small in comparison—I have maybe an inch on him. When I pointed this out, he claimed I was just trying to make him feel better about his small size! He said I was patronizing him. He ended the conversation by saying he would drop it, since it was obviously making me uncomfortable. Honestly, I am uncomfortable with it. I just can’t imagine bringing myself to…
09 Jan 2019
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I’m a 40-year-old guy with a 30-year-old girlfriend. We’ve been together a year, and I can see a future with her. But there are problems. This girl comes after two minutes of stimulation, be it manual, oral or penile. As someone who takes pride in my foreplay/pussy-eating abilities, this is a bummer. She gets wet to the point where all friction is lost during PIV, and my boners don’t last. It’s like fucking a bowlful of jelly. Part of me is flattered that I get her off, but damn it, I miss a tight fit! (Her oral skills aren’t great, either, so that’s not an option, and anal is a no-go.) I love to fuck hard, and that’s difficult when I’m sticking my dick into a frictionless void. Is there a way to decrease wetness? Help, please. Can’t Last Inside Tonight First things first: She’s not doing anything wrong, CLIT,…
02 Jan 2019
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I’m a 19-year-old bisexual woman really into orgasm denial and edging. With the recent Tumblr ban on all NSFW content, I have no idea where to indulge my kinks and find my community. I’ve never needed to go anywhere else to find porn, explore my sexuality, and be surrounded by supportive people—and now I’m at a loss. A few Google searches have been really disheartening. Clearly, I’ve been spoiled by all the easily found porn made by women, for women, on Tumblr. Hell, I’m used to it being made by bisexuals, for bisexuals. I feel like I’m 15 again, desperately scouring the internet for anything that applies to me. Please tell me where I can find my porn! You wrote about how this ban harms sex workers, Dan, but please write about how it harms queer and kinky people, too! Missing My Porn Community “Many people are scrambling to relocate…
26 Dec 2018
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I’m a 30-something straight woman married for 16 years. Eighteen months ago, I met a man, and there was an immediate attraction. For the first 15 months of our relationship, I was his primary sexual and intimate partner, as both sex and intimacy were lacking in his marriage. (My husband knew of the relationship from the start and is accepting, for the most part.) After my lover’s wife found out about me, she suddenly became very responsive to my lover’s sexual and emotional needs. My lover has told his wife that he will not let me go. He has also told me that he is not willing to let his wife go. She isn’t happy about being in a triad relationship, but she allows him to continue seeing me with limitations. I am no longer his primary sex partner, and I have been relegated to the back seat. He claims…
19 Dec 2018
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I’m a kinky single woman who keeps attracting the wrong men for me—specifically, submissive guys into face-sitting. I’m submissive myself, and face-sitting is not a turn-on for me. But the vast majority of men who hit on me have this fetish. I think it’s a size-related issue—a my-size-related issue: I’m a full-figured/curvy woman with a big butt. Granted, it’s a fabulous butt, but my butt sends the wrong signals, apparently. I’ve tried several times to word my FetLife and other dating profiles so that I’ll attract dominant men, but the messages from submissive wannabe face-sittees pour in. Dating when you’re not thin is hard enough. Help, please. Baby Got Back You’ve worded your dating profiles to attract Doms, BGB, but it doesn’t sound like you’ve worded your profiles to repel—and crush the hopes of—submissive wannabe face-sittees. Let’s fix that: “I get a lot of messages from submissive guys into face-sitting.…
12 Dec 2018
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I’m straight and married but not boring, and I am heading to my parents’ house for our first family Christmas since my asshole MAGA brother “stumbled over” the Tumblr blog where the wife and I posted about our sexual adventures. (Pics of MMF threesomes and cross-dressing/pegging sessions, plus some dirty “true enough” stories.) My brother has always been an angry screwup, so he leapt on the chance to make me look bad by sending the link to my parents, siblings and even some close family friends. Our Tumblr blog is still up, because we aren’t ashamed. Any advice? Totally Uncool Malicious Bastard’s Lame Reveal Your Tumblr blog isn’t going to be up for much longer, TUMBLR, as the company that owns Tumblr—Verizon—is ashamed of your blog and the millions of others like it: Tumblr announced last week that all “adult” content is banned as of Dec. 17. And the definition…

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