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Last updateTue, 18 Sep 2018 1pm

Dear Mexican: I found your column about Mexican men and spousal abuse, and my question is: Is there any help for this?

I’ve been with a Mexican man, who is also an abuser of alcohol. He gets angry out of the blue and starts hitting me, and later realizes what he has done and cries. I had to leave him for my protection, but the feelings between us remain, and I don't know what to do with the situation.

Can you provide any comments or help?

Abusada

Dear Abused: Get out of that relationship—now. But before you leave, coat that pendejo’s toilet paper with habanero powder, so he gets the burn in the culo he deserves.

Dear Mexican: How do Mexicans feel about environmental issues—specifically, a population explosion that will cause eventual food shortages?

I am told that procreation is a very macho thing for the Mexican male. You have even mentioned in the past that men do not perform oral sex on women because it’s not important when having children. How does that way of thinking weigh in with regard to the future of the planet?

El Blanco Pedro

Dear Pedro Gabacho: Malthus called—he wants his crackpot theory back. Besides, the gabacho love of suburbia has probven far more toxic to the environment than any 12-child Mexican mom ever did, so vete a la chingada con your faux environmental concerns.

OPEN LETTER TO OUR NEW PRESIDENT

Gentle cabrones: as I write this, the Mexican still doesn’t have a feel for whether Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump (or neither?) will be the next president of the United States. (The Mexican has to file his columna a week early.) In the interest of not looking more pendejo than usual, I will write three open letters to ensure I get the results right. Enjoy!

TO PRESIDENT HILLARY CLINTON

Congrats on beating that pendejo Trump—you’re now the greatest female savior of Mexicans since the original Santa Sabina, the legendary curandera for which the goth-Mex band was named.

But that’s not enough. Do not inherit the title of Deporter-in-Chief from Obama. Realize that the only reason you won is because raza overwhelmingly voted for you—and we want results besides appointments of token vendidos (although please do give a cool gig to Congressman Xavier Becerra, a truly down Chicano). Don’t pay attention to all the Know Nothings who insist on enforcement before amnesty. There are millions of Mexicans who have lived their entire lives in limbo, and it’s your job to save them. And if you do that? We’ll create a new altar to you at Tepeyac.

TO PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP

Congrats on beating that pendeja Killary—you’re now the greatest unifier of Mexicans since Porfirio Diaz. Don’t even try to deport 12 million people, or build that nasty, small-handed wall. Back in the day, raza mostly stood meekly by as presidents from Hoover to Roosevelt to Eisenhower to Obama enacted mass deportations—but those were honorable men. You’re not. We will protest; we will resist; we will struggle; we will take over elected offices the way Irish took over Boston. You hear me, President Pendejo? We ain’t no sleeping giant—we woke, and we’re ready to make your one term more pitiful than Enrique Peña Nieto.

Oh, and #fucktrump.

TO NO RESULTS YET

No mames, America.

Ask the Mexican at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.; be his fan on Facebook; follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano; or follow him on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!

Published in Ask a Mexican

On this newly-released-by-the-FBI weekly Independent comics page: Jen Sorenson wishes the media covered climate change like it covers Hillary's emails; The K Chronicles enjoys residing in a swing state; This Modern World looks at the thing that ate America's brain; and Red Meat shares a tender childhood memory.

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Dear Mexican: Why is it that even though we Latinos have similar backgrounds (Indian-Spanish) across America, there is a lack of unity among us here in the USA? We could be a powerhouse during election times, and definitely obtain a friendlier immigration deal.

El Peruano

Dear Cholo: I usually only answer preguntas about Mexicans, but I’ll make an exception here because of Election Day. And it hierve down to this: Who wants to be united? Latinos certainly don’t. In the Latino world, only Cuba is a country with the same political thought throughout—and look how good it’s working out for them.

Although the Mexican’s politics are Marxist of the Grouch variety, I’m also of the escuela that we need Latino conservatives, anarchists, vendidos, progressives, libertarians, Zapatistas, sinarquistas (ok, maybe not them)—all political thoughts. Such diversity keeps us in balance, teaches us about democracy, and will make us stronger as gabachos continue to align themselves into puritanical camps of caca. Let us squabble away—oh, and #fucktrump.

Dear Mexican: In America, the candidates for president spend millions of dollars in other peoples’ money for a job that could never pay that money back. Is it the same for Mexican candidates, or does it even matter, since those fucking Mexicans can never get the elections right anyway?

Conservative, but #fucktrump

Dear Gabacho: For most of the 20th century, Mexican presidents came from the PRI, and their method of picking a new leader was simple: el dedazo. The finger—not flipping the pájaro, but a symbolic pointing of the finger toward someone.

Yeah, that’s totally corrupt—but at least we don’t spend billions of dollars like fucking gabachos who can never get their elections right anyway, you know? Oh, and #fucktrump.

GET OUT EL VOTO!

Gentle cabrones, the Mexican doesn’t endorse candidates not named Alfred E. Neuman (source of the greatest quote EVER: “English is a language in which double negatives are a no-no!”), but I can tell you who NOT to vote for: Donald Trump, and anyone supporting the pendejo.

He represents the greatest threat to raza since NAFTA, an agreement he claims to hate, but he only says that to gain gabachos’ votes to toss Mexicans across the Rio Grande with a deportation cannon. Hillary Clinton is nowhere near the perfect candidate, and the Mexican won’t be voting for her because she’s the beneficiary of the Democratic Party’s own dedazo system—but even a candidate as terrible as her is un chingo better than Trump. If you vote for her, no hate on my part—just tell her to hold her tacos right.

More importantly, vote in your local elections, and RESEARCH. Don’t just vote for the people with the paisa name—sometimes, our own people are worse to Mexicans than any Trumpbot. And if you can’t vote because you’re undocumented? Volunteer for those politicos who are striving for amnesty and who oppose walls.

May you celebrate Election Day with one giant fiesta instead of tragos amargos. Oh, and #fucktrump.

Ask the Mexican at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.; be his fan on Facebook; follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano; or follow him on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!

Published in Ask a Mexican

On this week's electorally divided weekly Independent comics page: Jen Sorenson analyses the presidential debate analyses; The K Chronicles appreciates a subtle costume at a comics convention; This Modern World exposes the truth behind Donald Trump's hair; and Red Meat refuses to get rid of the meat.

Published in Comics

Dear Mexican: ¿Por que no hay un pinche líder entre nosotros o de nosotros los mexicanos? Para que tuviera los tanates bien puestos y hablara frente al congreso y les dijera sus verdades a los hipócritas políticos. ¿Será que “nuestros lideres” son unos miedosos o vendidos? No hay uno solo (solo el Chapulín Colorado) que nos defienda, tanta humillación que han tenido los negros, siempre de sirvientes o mozos, pandilleros y drogadictos (en Hollywood) y nadie protesta y salen con que Memín Penguin es ofensivo, otra de esas y nos subimos el cierre, ¿eh? En serio, “Ask a Mexican,” ¿Como  podría yo hablar delante del congreso, local, estatal o federal? ¿Sería mucho pedir?

Pónganse las Pilas, Putos

Dear Readers: For those of you who still don’t habla—and if you don’t habla, ¿que chingado estas esperando?—the writer asked: Where’s the Mexican leader who’ll take us into the Promised Land of American acceptance. Then the writer couldn’t help but attack blacks while he had my attention. Ya cállate con los “pinche negros,” pendejo.

The Mexicans did have a messiah who saved us all—his name was Juan Gabriel, and he recently died.

Dear Mexican Are there any states in which Mexicans are not yet a majority?

Gabacho Really Wants to Know

Dear Gabacho: Bruh, the Reconquista ain’t that advanced—yet. New Mexico has the highest percentage of Latinos at 47 percent of its total population, but most of them don’t even consider themselves Mexican.

The next-highest states are California and Texas, with 38.2 percent of their respective populations Latino per the U.S. Census, although Texas has the higher percentage of Mexicans in that group because of all the South Americans and Central Americans in California. The state with the lowest Latino percentage of its people? West Virginia, at 1.3 percent.

Raza: Don’t be scared; move to the Mountain State. Don’t forget that hillbillies are just brothers from a different madre.

Dear Mexican: Forgive me for not using neat-sounding Spanish words in this email; my Spanish is rusty, and it’s late. While I plan to learn it again, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Reading through the archives of your column, it seems that you have forgotten, or chosen to ignore, those gabachos who actually do not hate the Mexicans. Take me, for example. While this email is relatively devoid of Spanish phrases, I love the Spanish language. I studied it in high school and wholly intend to learn it again, probably next semester. I love Mexican food, and I mean the real stuff (although I do enjoy Taco Bell as well). My high school was relatively small, and we had a lady come in to tutor the few of us who cared to learn Spanish. While she had lived here for quite a while, she had not assimilated into America. She cooked for us one day, and that started my love for authentic Mexican food. She also instilled in me a fascination for Mexican culture. I even would go so far as to say that I would support an amnesty program: Mexicans will always be here, so why not make them legal? If they’re not gonna do it the legal way, then we might as well throw in the towel.

I wrote all this to simply remind you that not all Americans hate Mexicans: quite the contrary. Some of us love them!

Too Tired to Think Up an Interesting Pen Name, or Any Interesting Questions

Dear Gabachos: While I appreciate you and other gabachos who stand by Mexicans, be careful with your words: Trump just might deport you to if he wins. Oh, and #fucktrump.

Ask the Mexican at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.; be his fan on Facebook; follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano; or follow him on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!

Published in Ask a Mexican

On this real, raw weekly Independent comics page: Red Meat enjoys some special cupcakes; Jen Sorenson wonders why Donald Trump's harassment victims didn't come forward sooner; The K Chronicles celebrates more of life's little victories; and This Modern World wades through some word salad.

Published in Comics

Be careful ... this weekly Independent comics page will grab you by the ... mind! In it, This Modern World looks at the bizarro election of 2016; Jen Sorenson speculates on Hillary Clinton's internal debate; The K Chronicles tells a sobering story about a woman who chose to end her own life; and Red Meat learns about the creation of mankind.

Published in Comics

Goldenvoice's first-ever Desert Trip, from Friday, Oct. 7, through Sunday, Oct. 9, drew tens of thousands of fans from around the world to see Bob Dylan, the Rolling Stones, Neil Young, Sir Paul McCartney, The Who and Roger Waters—and they're doing it all over again this coming weekend.

Independent assistant editor Brian Blueskye and photography contributor Guillermo Prieto (Irockphotos.net) were fortunate enough to take in the inaugural Desert Trip—also known by some snarkier folks as Oldchella and Agecoach—from the grandstands.

For a recap of day one, click here.

For a recap of day two, click here.

For a recap of the final day, click here.

Here are some images from the grandstands and from around the festival grounds, all by Prieto.

Desert Trip’s inaugural weekend is now in the books—and not even the highly anticipated debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump could keep people away from the final-day performances by The Who and Roger Waters.

Some music critics and fans in recent years have mused that it might be time for The Who to hang it up, since the only remaining original members are frontman Roger Daltrey and songwriting wizard and guitarist Pete Townshend. These musings ignore the fact that The Who includes some great touring members, including Ringo Starr’s son, Zak Starkey, who has sat in the late Keith Moon’s spot on drums since 1996; and bassist Pino Palladino, who took over bass duties after the death of John Entwistle in 2002. Palladino has played with Paul Simon, Joe Walsh and Nine Inch Nails.

Critics have also claimed that Townshend’s hearing issues have caused problems with The Who’s live performances. Well, I can tell you that at Desert Trip, The Who was loud—probably the loudest of the six Desert Trip performers.

The Who kicked off the set with “I Can’t Explain” and “The Seeker.” The band surprisingly threw in “Who Are You” a little early—but that was quite all right, considering how much material the group managed to go through in almost two hours.

Before playing “I Can See for Miles,” Townshend explained it was the band’s first hit. He also said that he felt bad for the people in front of the stage, because they had to look at “two old cunts,” meaning he and Daltrey.

As a big fan of The Who’s 1973 concept album/rock opera, Quadrophenia, I was delighted to hear “5:15” as well as the self-titled instrumental, during which some of the world’s most recent historical moments were shown on the video wall—the Vietnam War, the first Gulf War, Sept. 11 and the Iraq War, to name some of them. This was followed by “Love, Reign O’er Me.”

After a performance of 1982’s “Eminence Front,” The Who then made light of their “other” concept album/rock opera, Tommy. They started off a four-song showcase with “Amazing Journey” and followed with “Acid Queen,” “Pinball Wizard” and “See Me, Feel Me.” The group ended with “Baba O’Riley and “Won’t Get Fooled Again.”

Yes, The Who is not the same band it once was. Roger Daltrey’s voice has understandably began to wear with age, a fact which was very evident during “Love, Reign O’er Me.” That’s not to say his voice has lost all its power. Indeed, The Who put on a powerful performance and was a huge hit with the Desert Trip crowd.

If there’s a relative outlier on the Desert Trip bill, it’s Roger Waters. Pink Floyd started as an intense psychedelic rock band before frontman Syd Barrett did too much LSD and suffered a severe mental breakdown. Yes, Pink Floyd was intense and far out; the band’s early material is influential to many punk bands.

Waters left Pink Floyd in the mid ’80s after The Wall became an epic hit, but he’s remained an influential musician and has carried on Pink Floyd’s legacy. Rumors ran rampant about the performance, and one of them came true—the sound system was amazing.

Waters took the stage after a dark ambient instrumental played for about 20 minutes with the video screen depicting rocky surface, perhaps on the moon. Nearly three amazing hours would follow.

Waters started off “Breathe” from Dark Side of the Moon, and followed with “Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun,” a fine example of Pink Floyd’s heavy psychedelia.

The visuals on “Time,” “Us and Them” and “Shine on You Crazy Diamond” were great, but it was topped by the stunning visuals—typical Pink Floyd artwork of the ’70s style animation that’s a cross between Salvador Dali and the movie Fantastic Planet—during “Welcome to the Machine.”

After “Have a Cigar,” Waters began to play “Wish You Were Here,” and that’s when things got ... well, interesting.

The end of the song was interrupted by the sounds of a helicopter and sirens—which blared in surround sound throughout the grounds. Suddenly, a building resembling the one on the cover of Animals appeared across the video wall on the stage, and four large smoke stacks came out of the top of the stage—complete with steam. Waters continued with “Pigs on the Wing, Pt. 1.”

References to Donald Trump began flashing on the screen. An image of Trump with the word “Charade” underneath. An animation of Donald Trump throwing up. A really disturbing picture of Donald Trump in female form, complete with breasts. Finally, during “Another Brick in the Wall Part 2,” an inflatable pig made its way around the grandstands and floor that had “Divided we fall,” “Donald Trump is an arrogant, racist, lying, sexist pig” and “Fuck Trump’s wall!” painted on the side.

Songs including “Mother,” “Run Like Hell” and “Brain Damage/Eclipse” followed.

Waters didn’t really do an encore, and instead talked to the audience about his efforts to boycott Israel and end what he believes is apartheid against the Palestinians. He then proceeded to play “Bring the Boys Back Home” and closed out his set with “Comfortably Numb.” Surprisingly, many members of the Desert Trip audience, many of whom have money and presumably disagree with some of Waters’ political positions, gave him a warm reception.

I have never seen a stage production at the level of Waters’ show at Desert Trip. Actually, I don’t think anybody has ever seen a stage production at the level of Waters’ show at Desert Trip. Somehow, he managed to top everything Paul McCartney and the Rolling Stones had to offer. It was an incredible end to the weekend and the festival.

Published in Reviews

On this week's income-tax-free weekly Independent comics page: Jen Sorenson examines Donald Trump's sleazy side; The K Chronicles waits for the United States to grow up; This Modern World offers yet another episode of The Incredible Trump (debate edition); and Red Meat introduces the world to the rib thong.

Published in Comics