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03 Jan 2014

Meandering Mess: Keanu Reeves Proves His Action Days Are Done in '47 Ronin'

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Keanu Reeves in 47 Ronin. Keanu Reeves in 47 Ronin.

Keanu Reeves drones his way through this disgustingly bad samurai movie—an expensive exercise in excess that should result in some people over at Universal losing their jobs. Who green-lit this thing?

Reeves never seems to string more than five words together as Kai, a “half-breed” who is part human, and possibly part demon, or something like that. He can’t really hang with the samurai warriors, so he mopes about looking all sad and bowing to his masters—until somebody is being attacked by something or other, in which case he is compelled to fight for their honor … or something.

This is a meandering, listless mess—a clear sign that Keanu has worn out his welcome in blockbuster action films. It’s no wonder he’s pushing for a new Bill and Ted movie; the dude is no longer fun when he’s springing into action.

This film is funny for all of the wrong reasons—and it’s one of the worst-looking $200 million movies you will ever see. 

47 Ronin is playing in regular and 3-D formats at theaters across the valley.

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