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Last updateTue, 18 Sep 2018 1pm

After Zeptember comes Rocktober—not, repeat, not, Trucktober or any other “-tober” extrapolation. Those are consumer market mind-control operations perpetuated by the Deep State government, aka the alien lizard people who run the planet. If you listened to my short-wave radio show, you’d know this already.

Anyway: The scripted rock ’n’ roll TV series has been attempted many a time, but few ever crack the two-season mark. This makes sense, because rock that goes on and on for an interminable amount time just devolves into “progressive” or “jam” (both also evil creations of the lizard people), and no one needs that.

Here are 11 rock ’n’ roll series to stream in honor of Rocktober:

Metalocalypse (Seasons 1-4 on Amazon and iTunes)

One of the rare exceptions to the two-season rule, Brendon Small’s Metalocalypse thrashed on Adult Swim from 2006 to 2013, chronicling the exploits of death-metal superstars Dethklok. The band members may be morons, but they rule the world and throw down insanely brutal grooves that concert attendees only occasionally survive. The heaviest show ever.

Sex&Drugs&Rock&Roll (Seasons 1-2 on Hulu)

Denis Leary’s 2015-16 comedy Sex&Drugs&Rock&Roll is the Spinal Tap-esque tale of The Heathens, a notoriously volatile ’90s rock band who released their debut album and broke up on the same day. Twenty-odd years later, they reform with the help of Leary’s young rocker daughter (Elizabeth Gillies); egomaniacal hilarity ensues. SDRR isn’t a thinker, but it is rock ’n’ roll.

Vinyl (Season 1 on HBO Go and Amazon)

One-season wonder Vinyl presented a skewed dramatization of New York’s ’70s rock scene that didn’t quite nail the take—even with Martin Scorsese, Terence Winter and Mick Jagger producing, it wasn’t excessive enough. It’s still a fun ride, though, with faux New York Dolls and Velvet Underground stand-ins, and glimpses of the Boogie Nights greatness that could have been.

Flight of the Conchords (Seasons 1-2 on HBO Go and Amazon)

After 22 perfect episodes between 2007 and 2009, New Zealanders Jemaine Clement and Bret McKenzie quit their very-loosely autobiographical HBO series Flight of the Conchords, because writing music and comedy was too much work—what do you people expect of a musical comedy duo? Kanye West could only dream of creating a jam like “Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros.”

Garfunkel and Oates (Season 1 on Amazon)

Comedy duo Riki Lindhome and Kate Micucci’s 2014 IFC series Garfunkel and Oates was sold short on arrival as a “female Flight of the Conchords,” which doesn’t do it justice: G&O is also dirty AF. Not to mention educational: “The Loophole” teaches young girls that anal sex is cool with Jesus, while “Weed Card” should be an anthem for medical marijuana. Women ahead of their time.

Roadies (Season 1 on Amazon)

It should have worked: Cameron Crowe (Almost Famous) made a 2016 tribute to the rock ’n’ roll lifestyle of touring starring Luke Wilson, Carla Gugino, Luis Guzmán and Imogen Poots; featuring drop-ins by Eddie Vedder, Lindsey Buckingham, Jim James and Gary Clark Jr.; and it all … went nowhere. Roadies mostly corrected its rom-com vs. rock course over 10 episodes, but it was too late.

The Get Down (Seasons 1-2 on Netflix)

While not as much of a mess as Vinyl, Baz Luhrmann’s 2016-17 musical history tour The Get Down, about the rise of hip-hop in the ’70s, still suffers from being a bit much (because, Baz Luhrmann). After a bloated debut episode, it gets waaay better and redeems itself over 10 subsequent hours, and the music is undeniably fantastic. Lament the coulda-been ’80s season.

Major Lazer (Season 1 on Hulu)

Major Lazer, a gonzo cartoon series that’s a mash-up of ’80s-style animation (think He-Man and G.I Joe), superhero culture, hip-hop and electronic dance music, premiered on then-obscure FXX’s even-more-obscure late-night ADHD animation block in 2015. Like the musical group it’s vaguely based on, Major Lazer is best experienced on quality drugs for maximum euphoria.

Dead Last (Season 1 on YouTube)

In 2001, The WB (known these days as The CW) launched and aborted a supernatural comedy series about a struggling bar band who stumbled upon the power to talk to ghosts—and then help them cross over from this realm. Yeeeah. Still, Dead Last’s Scooby-Doo charm and dark humor (the band doesn’t give a shit about the ghosts; they just wanna rock) is worth a YouTube binge.

Z Rock (Seasons 1-2 on Hoopla)

One of the more WTF? series in IFC’s WTF? history, 2008’s Z Rock followed the fictionalized hijinx of real-life Brooklyn power trio ZO2. By night, they were aspiring rock stars; by day, they were a children’s party band. ZO2 were apparently connected, with guests like Dave Navarro, Dee Snider, Gilbert Gottfried, Steel Panther and dozens more making hilarious cameos. But still, WTF?

Yacht Rock (Season 1 on YouTube)

In the mid-2000s, hipsters and music snobs alike were held rapt by Yacht Rock, a 12-episode mockumentary tribute to ’70s/’80s SoCal soft rock. Steely Dan, Kenny Loggins, Toto, The Doobie Brothers, Hall and Oates, The Eagles and even Van Halen are recreated (intentionally terribly) here; despite the grainy 2005 resolution, Yacht Rock is still vitally important. Just ask Weezer.

Published in DVDs/Home Viewing

On this week's extra-crispy weekly Independent comics page: This Modern World looks at the Trump scandal cycle; Jen Sorenson wants us to pay attention to gerrymandering; The K Chronicles visits a movie set; Red Meat checks out a place in the meatpacking district; and Apoca Clips has Li'l Trumpy telling a story.

Published in Comics

May is mostly a dead zone of season finales and reruns as TV gears up for the summer. (There’s no off-season anymore; get used to it.) But! Remember all those shows I’ve told you to watch harder in this very column? You know, the shows that are all readily available in various on-demand forms? Now’s the time to catch up! Here’s 12 to start with:

Wynonna Earp (Syfy): Wynonna Earp (Melanie Scrofano) is a modern-day descendent of Old West gunslinger Wyatt Earp, who was also a supernatural demon hunter (just roll with it), and she’s back in town to re-smite evil souls (or Revenants). It’s all true enough to the comic-book source, and Scrofano is a likable combo of badass and goofball.

Orphan Black (BBC America): In Season 4 of tense clone-soap Orphan Black, Sarah (Tatiana Maslany) investigates Beth, the deceased sister-clone whose identity she stole at the beginning of the series, as well as the origins of the clone conspiracy. Also, there are more clones, upping Maslany’s character load for the season to eight (and still no Emmy).

Hap and Leonard (Sundance): Hap and Leonard is a six-episode tale about ’80s Texans Hap (James Purefoy) and Leonard (Michael K. Williams), a pair of luckless laborers dragged into a get-rich-suspiciously-easy scheme by Hap’s ex-wife (Christina Hendricks). The plan soon spirals into a cacophony of conflicting agendas and colorful characters, with Fargo-like comic-to-violent jolts.

Idiotsitter (Comedy Central): An unemployed Ivy Leaguer (Charlotte Newhouse) takes a baby-sitting job—but the “baby” turns out to be an adult wild-child heiress (Jillian Bell) under house arrest. As the series progresses (or regresses), it’s clear that Bell and Newhouse can do stoopid repartee almost as well as the Broad City ladies. All this, and a Channing Tatum cameo!

Baskets (FX): Chip Baskets (Zach Galifianakis), having flunked out of a prestigious French clown academy, returns to uncultured ’Merica to be a rodeo clown—and then it gets weird. (Chip’s mom is Louie Anderson in drag, for just one example.) Baskets is a funny-to-sad-to-funnier-to-sadder commentary on artistic failure and Western decline, but don’t be afraid.

Better Call Saul (AMC): Better Call Saul continues to be a minor-miracle follow-up to, and expansion on, Breaking Bad in a flawless second season, further transforming small-time lawyer Slippin’ Jimmy McGill (Bob Odenkirk) into medium-time legal shark Saul Goodman. Even better, Rhea Seehorn, Michael McKean and Jonathan Banks get equal time to shine.

Banshee (Cinemax): Season 4 will be the last for this gritty slice of Amish-country crime noir, so there’s hope for eventually catching up on Banshee. The twisted tale of an ex-con/thief (Antony Starr) who assumes the identity of Sheriff Lucas Hood in the small town of Banshee, Pa., has taken many a bizarre turn, but the outcome is always the same (and bloody).

Vinyl (HBO): Vinyl is as excessive and beautiful as you’d expect a collaboration between Martin Scorsese, Terence Winter and Mick Jagger to be, mixing Almost Famous’ music-saves earnestness with Velvet Goldmine’s visceral glam bombast and Boogie Nights’ druggy chaos—and cranking it to 11 in 1974 NYC. It’s not perfect, but neither is rock ’n’ roll.

The Detour (TBS): Jason Jones (The Daily Show) and Natalie Zea (Justified) star as harried parents on a family road-trip where everything that could possibly go wrong does—spectacularly. Sound like National Lampoon’s Vacation? It is, but far funnier than last year’s limp Vacation reboot—and usually dramatic Zea is a comedic revelation.

Billions (Showtime): Damian Lewis (as a charismatic hedge-fund billionaire) and Paul Giamatti (as a troubled U.S. attorney) churn bluster and testosterone Acting! against each other, but they’re not Billions’ most interesting players: Maggie Siff, as a psychiatrist-turned-performance-coach with an invisible, spooky command, could lead this series on her own.

Teachers (TV Land): Teachers is a part of TV Land’s makeover from reheated sitcom repository to smart comedy destination, and six-woman improv troupe The Katydids (their first names are all variations on “Katherine”) gender-flip Super Troopers into an elementary school, dosed with Broad City’s fearless, vanity-free pursuit of so-wrong laughs.

Not Safe With Nikki Glaser (Comedy Central): Comic Nikki Glaser gets right down to topics like “losing your virginity, masturbation and putting stuff in your butt!” Not Safe is a sex-and-relationships talk show with fellow-comedian gab and pre-taped bits—it’s been done before, but Glaser has the smarts and presence to rise to the level of Amy Schumer.

Published in TV

Vinyl (Sunday, Feb. 14, HBO), series debut: “What? You thought records got played because they’re good?” sniffs American Century Records president Richie Finestra (Bobby Cannavale), explaining away the radio-payola tactics of his marketing right-hand man (Ray Romano), who secures the label’s bands airplay with a little coke and a lot of cash. Thing is, Richie loves good music—he can hear a hit instantly, and gets downright misty-eyed over the artistry. Likewise, Vinyl, an early-’70s-set remix of New York City music-scene fact and fairy tale, loves rock ’n’ roll, cramming real-deal period tunes into nearly every second of every scene (with the exception of the music of Led Zeppelin—glaring, since the band figures prominently, and hilariously, in Vinyl’s two-hour premiere episode). It’s all as excessive and beautiful as you’d expect a collaboration between Martin Scorsese, Terence Winter and Mick Jagger to be, blending Almost Famous’ music-saves earnestness with Velvet Goldmine’s visceral glam bombast and cranking it to 11, the buzz only blunted by the occasional too-long quiet stretch and cliché-weary voiceover. Like a good rock show, Vinyl’s first episode is exhausting—and there are eight more to come, so strap on your most-sensible platform boots.

The Walking Dead (Sunday, Feb. 14, AMC), winter premiere: When last we left The Walking Dead, Team Rick was leading (what’s left of) the Alexandrians quietly though the undead swarm that had breached the compound, disguised by walker guts but potentially exposed by Jessie’s son, who was whining for mommy. (Even in an apocalypse, kids are the worst.) Meanwhile, outside Alexandria, Daryl, Sasha and Abraham had a not-at-all-cute meeting with the Saviors, a new band of grandiosely named road goons—but these goons are in league with mucho-hyped baddie Negan (incoming guest star Jeffrey Dean Morgan), who’s being built up as the closest—thus, most dangerous—equal to Rick that the group has ever encountered. Not to mention all of the possible, comic-book-preordained character deaths—Happy Valentine’s Day!

Better Call Saul (Monday, Feb. 15, AMC), season premiere: The 2015 debut season of Better Call Saul was a minor miracle that not only borrowed elements from, and expanded upon, a seemingly impossible-to-follow milestone TV series (Breaking Bad—like you needed to be reminded), but also built its own world in the span of 10 episodes, and proved Jimmy McGill/future Saul Goodman (Bob Odenkirk) could headline his own show. Rather than sweat the follow-up to that follow-up, BCS jumps right back into the business of incrementally transforming small-time Albuquerque lawyer Slippin’ Jimmy into medium-time legal shark Saul Goodman. None show up early in Season 2, but it’s rumored that some (more) Breaking Bad characters will be making appearances on Better Call Saul—I know the odds-on favorite is Gus Fring, but I’m holding out for Badger and Skinny Pete.

Broad City (Wednesday, Feb. 17, Comedy Central), season premiere: Between Full Frontal With Samantha Bee and Angie Tribeca on TBS, Younger and Teachers on TV Land, and Idiotsitter, Not Safe With Nikki Glaser and now, returning champions Broad City, on Comedy Central, it’s a great time for female-led comedy on cable—and that’s not even counting the resurgence of Sarah Palin on the news channels. Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson’s stoner Laverne and Shirley was already renewed for Seasons 4 and 5 ahead of tonight’s Season 3 premiere, which means at least 20 more episodes of Brooklyn misadventures with the other Girls, and the occasional Hannibal Buress sighting sans subtitles. But right now, the biggest news of BC3 is that presidential still-a-candidate Hillary Clinton will drop in on Ilana and Abbi, which may or may not prompt a Bernie Sanders guest rebuttal on Workaholics.

Teachers (Wednesdays, TV Land), new series: When Teachers was mentioned above, it’s entirely possible you thought to yourself, “What the hell’s that? Something else I have to catch up on?” Yes, it is—remember, There’s Too Many Shows. Along with The Jim Gaffigan Show, Impastor and Younger, Teachers is a part of TV Land’s makeover from reheated sitcom repository to smart comedy destination, and six-woman improv troupe The Katydids (their first names are all variations on “Katherine”) have inadvertently edged out Gaffigan on the funny front. (Sorry, Jim—it’s six against one.) Imagine Super Troopers gender-flipped into an elementary school, dosed with Broad City’s fearless, vanity-free pursuit of so-wrong laughs. We’re only six episodes into Season 1—catch up on Hulu and TVLand.com, now.

Published in TV