CVIndependent

Thu12032020

Last updateMon, 24 Aug 2020 12pm

Everyone talks up the ’80s as the golden age of horror movies, but the ’90s? More like a golden shower!

Aside from Leprechaun (Jennifer Aniston’s finest hour), 1990-1999 was a bust for scary flicks; scraping together a decade-encompassing list would be a fool’s errand.

Hi. Fool here. Halloween—formerly known as “October”—is a demanding month.

None of these 13 ’90s movies would be considered High Art; tellingly, few of them are even available on proper streaming services (at least not for free). Grab a Zima and some 3D Doritos, and prepare to be underwhelmed—though there are some accidental gems.

Highway to Hell (1992; Prime Video): Lovebirds Rachel (Kristy Swanson) and Charlie (Chad Lowe) are en route to get married in Las Vegas when a demonic highway patrolman kidnaps Rachel and drags her to hell to become a bride of Satan. Charlie follows, encountering hell-dwellers like Lita Ford, Ben Stiller and Gilbert Gottfried (as—wait for it—Hitler). Highway to Hell is aggressively stupid, but entertaining-ish.

Ice Cream Man (1995; Prime Video, Tubi): Creepy Gregory (creepy Clint Howard) takes over the local business of the Ice Cream King and starts sprinkling new ingredients into the product (bugs, blood, body parts, etc.), while also caging up kiddies in his parlor. Despite a few clever kills (a severed head in a giant waffle cone!), Ice Cream Man never earned a slasher franchise, because who wants more Clint Howard?

Tromeo and Juliet (1997; YouTube): Long before Guardians of the Galaxy and The Suicide Squad, James Gunn co-wrote this sleaze-o-rama with Troma kingpin Lloyd Kaufman. Tromeo and Juliet adds new dimensions to the Romeo and Juliet story, like gratuitous violence, lesbian canoodling, closeup nipple-piercing, giant cow schlongs, and narration by Lemmy of Motörhead. Bravissimo!

Zipperface (1992; YouTube): A black-leather-bondage-suited goon is torturing and killing the BDSM prostitutes of … Palm City? Zipperface is a misogynistic mess that plays like Z-grade cable porn, but the writers really crossed the line by setting the movie in San Diego’s worst suburb. There’s not much here that would be out of place in a ’90s cop drama, an ’80s metal music video, or Tromeo and Juliet.

Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies (1999; Tubi): The first of three (!) sequels to Wes Craven’s 1997 original, Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies ups the game by pitting a sexy priest (Paul Johansson) and a sexier art thief (Holly Fields) against the demonic Wishmaster (Andrew Divoff, overacting to the nth degree). The gore of Wishmaster 2 revolves around verbal semantics; wishing someone to “go screw himself” is not cool.

Witchboard 2: The Devil’s Doorway (1993; YouTube): A young woman (Ami Dolenz) moves into a Los Angeles loft, finds a Ouija board, and promptly summons the spirit of the previous tenant, who claims to have been murdered. (L.A. real estate is brutal.) The spirit then starts unleashing death and destruction whenever the Ouija board is accessed, but do they just stop? Nope. Related: Check out The Social Dilemma on Netflix.

Office Killer (1997; YouTube): When Dorine (Carol Kane) sees her office job at Constant Consumer (ha!) magazine downsized to a work-from-home gig, she loses it and begins plotting to kill her co-workers (including Molly Ringwald, Jeanne Tripplehorn and Michael Imperioli), and bring their bodies home for company. Could this be any timelier in 2020? Working from home sucks that much.

Full Eclipse (1993; YouTube): “There’s a new police force on the streets … and they only come out at night.” Rave cops? Nope: There’s a vigilante subsect within the LAPD made up of genetically enhanced werewolves—and Det. Max Dire (Mario Van Peebles) has infiltrated their ranks. Aside from some hilariously wolfed-up sex scenes, there’s not much action in Full Eclipse; 2014’s WolfCop did it better.

Death Machine (1994; Prime Video, YouTube): Set in the far-flung future of 2003, Death Machine is essentially RoboCop with a lobotomy. Genius cyborg engineer Jack (Brad Dourif) is out for revenge against the corporation that fired him, unleashing his ultimate creation, “Warbeast,” against it. (His first project was called … “Hard Man.”) Fun fact: Death Machine was Rachel Weisz’s first film role. Well, sad fact for her.

Embrace of the Vampire (1995; Tubi): Embrace of the Vampire led to the destruction of many a VHS player in the mid-’90s, thanks to horndog teens furiously pausing and rewinding the “scandalous” nude sex scenes of Alyssa Milano, sitcom sweetheart (Who’s the Boss?). Here, she’s a college student stalked by a suave vampire (Martin Kemp of Spandau Ballet!); Embrace would be a tame Lifetime movie in 2020.

Bordello of Blood (1996; YouTube): Between his ’80s stint on Saturday Night Live and his current gig as a Republican-adjacent shill, Dennis Miller starred in this Tales From the Crypt footnote. Miller plays a P.I. out to rescue Corey Feldman from a vampire hooker coven led by supermodel Angie Everhart, which really sounds like Feldman’s element. Saving grace: Music by Anthrax, Thin Lizzy and Redd Kross.

Vampirella (1996; YouTube): Turning ’70s erotic-horror comic book Vampirella into a live-action movie was turrible idea, mostly because the costume was physically impossible to execute. Talisa Soto (barely) suited up anyway, resulting in this Blade for Dummies Dumpster fire starring Roger Daltrey as an alien (?) vampire ruling the Las Vegas underworld. Even Roger Corman completists say, “Uh, no thanks.”

Wild Zero (1999; YouTube): Japanese garage-rock legends Guitar Wolf befriend superfan Ace (Masashi Endo) just in time for a UFO-spurred zombie apocalypse. Wild Zero is pretty much Shaun of the Dead, just with leather jackets, transgender equalization, and a rock ’n’ roll-AF soundtrack. Try not to sing along as Guitar Wolf scream “Roaring blood! Exploding blood! Baby, baby, baby! Roaring blood!”

Published in TV

David Graves is really passionate about horror films—so passionate, in fact, that he has convinced the Camelot Theatres at the Palm Springs Cultural Center to present horror-film double-features most Friday nights through the end of the year.

The Art of Darkness series debuts this Friday, Oct. 11, with The Innocents at 6 p.m., and A Tale of Two Sisters at 8 p.m. I had to ask Graves: Why so passionate about horror?

“Well, I’m basically a very fearful person,” he said with a laugh. “My passion for horror films started very early, and it may be because that’s just a familiar space for me, but I find that (horror) sharpens all of your senses. … You know, fear is the oldest, deepest emotion that we have; it’s a lizard-brain thing. It was part of our survival. Watching horror movies is sort of the modern equivalent of cavemen setting around a fire telling each other spooky stories. … It’s a safe way to experience fear and (learn to) understand what you fear.”

Graves spent much of his career in film production—he was the assistant costume designer on a little film you may have heard of called Titanic—and considers himself a “huge movie buff.” He said he’s dreamed of doing a horror-film series for years, and it came to fruition after he discussed it with Rick Seeley, a longtime friend.

It turns out Seeley is the president of the board of the Palm Springs Cultural Center. Seeley loved the idea, as did Michael Green, the center’s executive director. Thus, Art of Darkness was born.

“I feel like this is an element that’s missing in the cultural life here,” Graves said. “There are horror-film festivals everywhere all over the country and all over the world; on any given week, and you’ll find one somewhere. It was something that I wanted to bring to the community—and to deepen people’s understanding of what horror is.”

Graves pointed out that horror isn’t just a genre—it’s an emotion. He said the Art of Darkness series goes beyond slasher films and explores horror at a deeper level.

“Many films that aren’t, strictly speaking, horror films still have horrific elements and have various different moods on that spectrum,” he said. “The critical sphere has been taking horror films much more seriously over the last 20 years. This is great, but I want to bring some of this to the local audience and say, ‘Look deeper at these things. Look at the substance and what they are about instead of looking at the surface, and let go of the idea that a horror film equals a slasher film’—because it doesn’t.”

Series-opener The Innocents, with a screenplay by William Archibald and Truman Capote, came out in 1961 and is described thusly on IMDb: “A young governess for two children becomes convinced that the house and grounds are haunted.”

“It’s really visually stunning, but it’s also very creepy and unsettling—and ultimately, it’s ambiguous,” Graves said. “It’s first movie that really, truly scared me. I was about 10 or 11 years old. My parents put it on, and everyone—my sister and my parents—fell asleep. I was watching the whole thing sort of by myself, and it really, really, unsettled me. And I loved it.”

While tickets to individual films in the series are $10, attendees who want to see both portions of the double-feature get in for $15. I asked Graves why he decided to present the Art of Darkness series via double-features.

“It’s a more interesting way to present these films thematically,” he said. “The whole idea was to present films that, on the surface, aren’t necessarily related, but that resonate with each other. … A Tale of Two Sisters, the second film on (the first) double-feature, is a stunning, hauntingly beautiful, really creepy Korean ghost story from the early ’00s. Both it and The Innocents are ambiguous, because they’re ghost stories—but is the ghost real, or is it the person imagining it or projecting it?

“(On Nov. 1), we’re showing remakes of Invasion of the Body Snatchers and The Thing, which are interesting, because the original films from the ’50s were both products of post-war, Cold War paranoia. The fact that they were remade in the late ’70s and early ’80s … (gives them) different context in a different thematic background. One of the great things about horror films is that they really are a mirror of the time that they were born in.”

Graves said he hopes the Art of Darkness series becomes a regular fall occurrence at the Cultural Center.

“I’ve got at least three years’ worth of these pairings that I’ve plotted out,” he said. “I’ve been ruminating about this for years, and it was just a question of choosing what we wanted to launch it with.”

The Art of Darkness series takes place most Fridays through the end of December at the Camelot Theatres at the Palm Springs Cultural Center, 2300 E. Baristo Road, in Palm Springs. Tickets to the individual films, at 6 and 8 p.m., are $10; admission to both films costs $15. For tickets or more information, call 760-325-6565, or visit psculturalcenter.org.

Published in Previews and Features

The original Halloween (1978) and Friday the 13th (1980) movies didn’t invent the “slasher” genre, but they did kick off a bloody wave of horror that ruled the ’80s. Which makes sense—have you seen archival photos of ’80s people? They needed some killing.

Since the entire month of October has been swallowed up by Halloween, Inc.™, Content Shifter is digging up some lesser-known ’80s slasher flicks. There’s a reason you’ve haven’t heard of most of these: They’re terrible AF. Some don’t even hit that “so bad it’s good” sweet spot—meeting a “13” quota isn’t easy, just sayin.’

Here are 13 ’80s slasher flicks to stream between the Halloween parties that nobody invites me to anymore. You dress up as Sexy Ben Shapiro one time

Slumber Party Massacre II (1987; Prime Video, Tubi, Shudder, YouTube): High-schooler Courtney (Crystal Bernard) takes her girl group on a weekend retreat, only to have band practice and brushes with lesbianism interrupted by the return of the Driller Killer! Even better, he’s been reincarnated as a singing rockabilly greaser with a sick drill guitar! Yes, it’s slasher flick with cool kills and musical numbers—sex and blood and rock ’n’ roll, baby!

New Year’s Evil (1980; Prime Video, YouTube): Speaking of rock ’n’ roll, early slasher New Year’s Evil features the most over-the-top metal theme song of the genre—suck it, Halloween. Blaze (Roz Kelly), host of a New Year’s Eve new-wave countdown TV show, receives a call from a mystery fan claiming he’ll kill a “naughty girl” in each time zone at midnight—with her being the last. Bonus: “punk” rockers galore.

Sleepaway Camp (1983; Prime Video, Tubi): Eight years after a Camp Arawak boating accident killed her father and sibling, teen Angela (Felissa Rose) is sent off to … Camp Arawak. This well-thought-out plan goes awry when campers and counselors start getting dead—is Angela the killer? The answer is obvious; Sleepaway Camp’s infamous twist ending is anything but. A fifth sequel is apparently coming.

Chopping Mall (1986; Prime Video, Tubi, Shudder, YouTube): With an impossibly fantastic title to live up to, Chopping Mall barely even tries—but at least there’s a spin on slashers: killer robots. A group of idiot 20-somethings break into a mall to spend the night (because … fun?), only to have the party crashed by boxy security Roombas set to berserker mode. Extra comedy points: Mary Waronov and Paul Bartel from Eating Raoul.

Death Spa (1989; Prime Video): Another tech-gone-evil slasher, Death Spa pits Spandex-wearing workout dopes against a haunted gym—as the pitch says, “You’ll sweat blood!” A bloodthirsty ghost infiltrates a health club’s computerized control system and starts killing gym rats with exercise machines, weight gear and overheated saunas. Death Spa is stoopid to the max, but it did introduce gym sushi (!).

Killer Workout (1987; Prime Video, YouTube): For some reason, the film distributor thought Killer Workout would sell better than the movie’s original title, Aerobicide—SAD! Buff boneheads are being murdered by a safety-pin-wielding psycho at an L.A. gym, so why not keep it open during the investigation? Also, safety pin? What it lacks in logic, Killer Workout makes up for in excessive T&A (not triceps and abs).

Visiting Hours (1982; YouTube): On the flipside, a feminist journalist (Lee Grant) provokes a serial killer by simply presenting her position on a TV talk show—sorry for the ’80s, women. She survives his attack, but now he’s in her hospital to finish the job, and her boss (William Shatner, who must have had a boat payment to make) is no help whatsoever. Surprisingly tense, yet still overtly Canadian.

Night School (1981; Prime Video): Not to be confused with the 2018 Kevin Hart movie of the same name, this Night School featured the immortal tagline: “A is for apple, B is for bed, C is for coed, D is for dead, F is for failing to keep your head.” This serial killer is a decapitation aficionado, though the original title was Terror Eyes—also, there’s little schooling. At least it gave the world Rachel Ward.

Final Exam (1981; Prime Video, Tubi): College students are being slain on campus days before summer break, and the killer is a completely random psycho with no connections or back story. As long as jocks and cheerleaders are being taken out, cool. Final Exam is short on blood and boobs, but long on—WTF?—character development, meaning you get to know these coffin-stuffers. Yay?

The Nail Gun Massacre (1985; Prime Video): No title ambiguity here—nail on the head, literally. Six Texas construction workers who skated on a rape charge are murdered one-by-one by a mystery motorcycle man with a high-powered nail gun. Like a Home Depot RoboCop, he serves wisecracks with his vengeance and kills more than a few innocent bystanders. Actual tagline: “A very penetrating story.”

The Mutilator (1985; Prime Video): A group of horny college coeds hang out at a beachfront condo during fall break, only to be killed off in increasingly gruesome fashions: axes, pitchforks, boat motors, fishing gear, etc. The creative killer is Big Ed, the father of one of the coeds who never forgave his son for accidentally killing Mrs. Ed. It’s almost Shakespearean, this little Mutilator gem.

Girls Nite Out (1982; YouTube): A college-campus scavenger hunt turns bloody when a killer in a mascot bear costume starts slashing up students with serrated-knife “claws.” Even worse, he get the college radio DJ to help broadcast his murders—as if that gig wasn’t already humiliating enough. Girls Nite Out was originally titled The Scaremaker, but they really should have gone with TerrorBear.

Stripped to Kill (1987; Prime Video, Tubi): An LAPD detective (Kay Lenz) goes undercover at the Rock Bottom strip club to investigate a string of stripper murders. Never mind that Emmy-winning actress Lenz is pole dancing (badly) in a low-budget slasher—Stripped to Kill features the most bizarrely ludicrous killer reveal of any flick on this list. Even weirder: The strip club is owned by Norman Fell (Three’s Company).

Published in TV

Four women write and direct short films in horror anthology XX.

Most notably, Annie Clark of the band St. Vincent (My hero!) makes her film-directorial debut with a segment called The Birthday Party, in which a frantic mom (Melanie Lynskey) panics when she finds a corpse just before her child’s birthday celebration. The segment looks great, is acted well, and features some great sound—including St. Vincent music. As a piece of horror, it’s a bit of a failure (it’s more jokey than horror), but the segment does show that Clark can direct performances and pull together the technical parts. It’s just not all that scary.

Things get creepier in an Evil Dead sort of way with Don’t Fall, in which desert campers come into contact with demonic forces after seeing some sketches on a stone wall. There isn’t much of a story to the segment, but the scares come fast and furious once somebody gets possessed.

The other two segments (The Box and Her Only Living Son) deal with starvation, parenthood and the Antichrist; they also have their moments.

Nothing in this anthology is groundbreaking, but there’s enough here to warrant watching if you are a horror fan—or you’re a St. Vincent fan.

XX is available via online sources including iTunes and Amazon.com.

Published in DVDs/Home Viewing

When we spoke to Jerry Hernandez before the inaugural IPACinema Saturday-night film series began in July, he told us that he wanted to fill every one of the 127 seats in the theater where IPACinema was taking place, and for good reason: He needed the admission revenues to rent a projector each week, because IPAC did not have one.

Well, those needed sellout crowds never came. (Given the lack of foot traffic in downtown Indio, and the fact that it was the summer in the eastern Coachella Valley, Hernandez's goal seemed a bit, well, optimistic.) Instead, Hernandez says, crowds have ranged from a low of about five to a high of about 70, for a sing-along to Grease.

But Hernandez’s passion for film earned him some fans—and his enthusiasm paid off when several weeks into the season, which began on July 20, generous IPAC supporters came up with the money to buy IPAC a projector and a Blu-ray player.

Today, as IPACinema 2014 enters its final month, Hernandez says he feels blessed—and he has reason to feel proud, too, as his film series has been far from a failure. After all, getting 70 people to downtown Indio in the middle of the summer to see Grease is an accomplishment indeed.

“Considering the lack of advertising dollars—(publicity) has all been through Facebook, word of mouth, fliers, (the Independent’s online) article, and several other articles—I think it’s been a success. It’s definitely been a learning experience,” he said.

The Saturday-night classic-film series will conclude its first year in October. On Oct. 19, an audience-participation showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show will take place at midnight; the series will conclude with the extended director’s cut of John Carpenter’s Halloween, at 8 p.m. on Oct. 26.

Meanwhile, Hernandez says he’s started planning next year’s film series—and based on the lessons he’s learned in his first year, viewers can expect more blockbusters and family-friendly fare. While the exact schedule is up in the air, Hernandez says IPACinema may return as a monthly event as soon as February, before ramping back up to a weekly event in May or June. Potential 2014 films include Jaws, The Ten Commandments, Purple Rain, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Zoot Suit.

It’s worth repeating another thing that Hernandez told us back before the series began.

“This series is about movies as they’re meant to be seen—on the silver screen,” Hernandez says.

IPACinema’s 2013 season concludes with the Fright Film Festival, featuring screenings on Oct. 19 and 26. The Indio Performing Arts Center is located at 45175 Fargo St., in Indio. Tickets are $6, or $5 for children and seniors. For a complete schedule and more information, visit www.facebook.com/IPACinemaEvent.

Published in Previews and Features

I got a couple of good jolts out of The Conjuring, the latest from director James Wan.

I have deeply divided feelings about Wan. I sort of hate him for starting the whole Saw thing, and I sort of like him for twisted films like Insidious, Death Sentence and, to some extent, this one. No doubt: Wan is capable of constructing some good scare scenarios, and this haunted-house tale has its share.

This is one of those films that claim to be “based on a true story.” Whatever. Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson play Lorraine and Ed Warren, well-known paranormal investigators who try to help out a family that has just moved into a Rhode Island house. They are like ghostbusters, but without proton packs and one-liners.

The family, shortly after moving in, finds their dog dead, birds smashing their heads into the house, and a ghost playing hide-and-seek. The dead dog would’ve been my cue to say “Screw this!” and head for the nearest Motel 6, but these dopes stick around to deal with ghosts, demons and whatnot. Carolyn Perron (Lili Taylor), the mom, is getting mysterious bruises all over her body and experiencing strange dreams in which ghosts puke blood into her face. Roger (Ron Livingston), the dad, keeps finding dead animals and spooky parts of the house he didn’t know about. And no matter how many of his kids say that something just pulled at their feet during the night or wrestled with them on the floor, HE KEEPS THE FAMILY IN THE FREAKING HOUSE.

I forgive stupid horror-movie families if the film manages to scare me good at least twice. The Conjuring got to me at least five times, which is a damned good score for a routine haunted-house film. Actually, this is a haunted house film with demon possession and exorcism thrown in for good measure. As Wan showed with Dead Silence and Saw, he likes evil puppets and dolls as well. One particularly malevolent doll contributes to the mayhem, making this film a veritable stew of horror genres.

The Conjuring starts with the cheap sound and sight gags that plague most haunted-house movies. I thought for sure we were getting another low-budget flick in which there are a lot of moving sheets, closing doors and sudden sounds, as in the stupid Paranormal Activity movies. Wan, the evil bastard that he is, knows that many movie-viewers are jaded and will let their guards down. Then some pretty freaky visual stuff starts happening, and The Conjuring is off and running. This film is not afraid to show you who is making all those noises and screwing with those doors.

Wilson and Farmiga are good as the Warrens, the folks who allegedly investigated this ’70s haunting, along with the Amityville Horror. (The characters comment on needing to check out some problems on Long Island at one point.)

Both Wilson and Farmiga are doing good things in the horror genre these days, with Wilson starring in Insidious, and Farmiga making the rounds as Mrs. Bates in the Bates Motel TV series. Heck, Farmiga’s sister is kicking ass in the genre as well, starring in the first and third seasons of American Horror Story.

It’s good to see Taylor get a meaty role. It’s been a long while since she’s really factored in a movie, which is a shame, given her talents. Looking back at her resume, I am reminded that she appeared in The Haunting back in 1999. The Conjuring puts that pathetic remake to shame, and Taylor proves she can scream her ass off during a demonic possession and exorcism.

Wan and company deserve props for doing a lot of the effects the natural way. Wan has figured out that the more “real” something looks, the scarier it is. Actors and actresses in freaky makeup with the lighting just so can often out-creep CGI megabytes. There are a few instances in this movie in which gray and green makeup is the scare tactic of choice. It probably cost the makeup guys less than $50, and it scared me just fine.

Wan is in the midst of a busy movie year. After this, we shall get his Insidious: Chapter 2 in time for Halloween, and he just got the gig to direct one of cinema’s scariest creatures of them all: He’ll be helming Fast and Furious 7 starring the repugnant, naturally frightening Vin Diesel.

I’m scared already.

The Conjuring is playing at theaters across the valley.

Published in Reviews

Twenty-six directors each get a death-related word corresponding to a letter in the alphabet, and they go to town—often in disgusting fashion, and the result is The ABCs of Death.

Some of the shorts are truly classic, while others are bizarre beyond comprehension, and others are just bad. Standouts include “D” for “Dogfight,” in which some dog-fighting gamblers get their comeuppance. I also liked “F” for “Fart,” and I’m not even going to try to explain what happens in this segment.

Many of the segments go way, way overboard with the violence and will surely turn off viewers of all kinds. Consider yourself warned that the movie goes beyond an R-rating (it is actually unrated) when it comes to the yucky stuff; for example, you will see a knife shooting out of a large penis.

Some of the directors include Ti West (The Innkeepers) and Angela Bettis (star of the very creepy May). You will laugh, but you may come close to barfing as well, so don’t eat too much before taking it in. 

The ABCs of Death is available on-demand and on iTunes.

Published in DVDs/Home Viewing